Every day since May

Every day since May except for the actual day of my surgery, I have worn what to me are beautiful scarves, wrapped with care and precision in what has been the most self-pleasing and self-validating look I have known in my life.

Today this is me, just wearing a droopy black snood.

I woke up and my shoulder hurt so badly (this is still from the surgery in early November, which left nerve damage and scar tissue that needs to be broken down daily) I just can't do it. All I could do was pull on a snood.

So today I'm in pain and frustrated. I can't spin either because my shoulder is too stiff. I may just go nuts. And tomorrow I have a major medical event already planned at 9 am, so I can't just see about running over to my doctor. I don't know when the scheduled procedures will be done and I will possibly just want to come home afterwords. 

Maybe Tuesday. Of course, I'm hoping beyond hope by then it will be feeling better.